Nothing on this list is as creepy as a grown man dressed as Doraemon
I really like bad movies. As in, I have easily seen more public domain b-movies than Oscar winners. It’s not about the film being unenjoyable and completely without merit, otherwise this list would start and end with Pearl Harbour. You also can’t go out and intentionally make a bad movie. It has to be unknowingly bad. Ideally it should be completely oblivious to the most basic realities of film making (see Manos: The Hands of Fate). Whether the base ingredient is naive idealism or cynical demographic targeting, the film has to be totally sincere in spite of it’s terribleness.
I anticipate some flak after including The Driller Killer on that list; probably from the same kind of people who write comments “explaining” problems with your joke in a way that demonstrates that they completely misunderstand humour. So, to make it clear- I (*really*) like Driller Killer. Although any film about a guy who for some reason starts murdering homeless dudes that claims to grapple with human nature and catholic ideology is a bit of a hack job, especially when mixed up with sapphism that does little but titilate. It’s good, and brutally explicit, and I *really* wanted to make that terrible joke about it and Tim Allen. So it stays.
For those of you who’d rather replace it with something more terrible, I offer a choice of two movies so bad they didn’t quite make the cut:
6. Fatal Deviation (1998) Watch it on Youtube.
Some people say that a poster can speak a thousand words. This one has 16 but they say a hell of a lot: “A classic good versus evil action flick, mixed with kicks, guns, motorcycles and a hot babe!”. The infamously terrible Fatal Deviation is Ireland’s only kung-fu movie, made for under IR£9000, is actually a tale of a delusional martial arts enthusiast, a drug gang, some monks (apparently? I kinda stopped paying attention) and a truly stilted ending make this unmissably bad.
7. Frankenfish (2004) Watch it on Youtube Wait, you have to buy this shit?!?
This film came to my attention when a friend bought it from a charity shop. Inside was a note warning that it was “the worst film ever made” and, like in Ring, the only way to break the curse was to make someone else watch it. It really kick-started my love of bad films.
The premise is that giant half-shark, half-crocodile fish things have been let into the Maryland swamps. The Chinese put them there because they are notoriously untrustworthy (thanks China! First paper currency, now this?) and that’s all that’s said on the matter. The rest of the film follows the entwined fates of those unfortunate souls stranded in the swamps who chug corona until they realise that the fish isn’t that scary if it can’t walk on land (**Spoilers** OH SHIT IT TOTALLY CAN!). This film isn’t free, isn’t as half-baked as the others and is basically nothing more than Attack of the Giant Leeches in the 21st century with shitty CGI instead of interns in foam rubber costumes. It’s all the worse for it.
High Maintenance Life 